New York is not neccesarily known as a sunny place, so I didn’t think the transition to Seattle weather would be too tough. Although in Seattle it is not nearly as cold in these winter months, it is dreadfully overcast. As a person with a mental illness, the lack of light – and we have more windows in this apartment than the last – is getting to me. There are now six lamps in the living room not counting the lights over the kitchen that came with the apartment, but those damn clouds just seem to suck the life out of those photons, synthetic or no. As a fan of Jane Eyre, I’m trying to turn this dreary weather into my new aesthetic where the dark colors and shadows and dampness highlight my stubborness to survive, but it’s no easy task.

One thing I will say: walking in the rain in a heavy coat with no umbrella is the thing here, instead of walking in the rain with a heavy umbrella and a light coat, as in New York. The rain here in Seattle is lighter, if constant, anyway. I hated having to carry around umbrellas before and I like now that it’s acceptable to be partially drenched and have frizzy hair, to embrace the inconvenience as a part of life, and when you come home, hang up your coat like in the old days to dry.

When will I stop missing New York? I don’t know. Maybe I just need to get caught in the rain a few more times.